Tag Archives: Vice Presidential Debate

Kaine/Pence Debate (A Lose Lose for the Nation and the World)

As someone who actually works for a living I sometimes have to watch recorded versions of the debates. Over the last 2 days I did just that with the first vice presidential debate. I was told that it was better than the presidential debate. I mean, the bar was so low on that one, how could it not be? So it was a bit better, kind of in the same way that finding out you have a horrible sprain instead of a broken bone in better. Actually, maybe it was more like how finding out that those huge lesions on your lips were caused by an allergic reaction to your favorite food is better than finding out your have horrible herpes. Anyway, It was again another huge waste of time. Here is my recap of the transcript.

Kaine: I’m going to ignore all of the well thought out questions our moderator has come up with and talk about some crazy ass shit that Clinton told me to. Oh yeah, I’m going to lie a lot too.

Pence: No I’m going to do the same thing, but go even further. Also, your candidate doesn’t just have a pussy, she is one!

Kaine: Oh yeah!

Pence: Yeah!

Kaine: OH YEAH!

Pence: YEAH!

Kaine: Well I’m going to skirt around the issue that my candidate will start World War 3.

Pence: Well I’m ¬†going to skirt around the same issue even better and we’re going to start an even bigger World War 3. Ours will be Trumped up World War 3 and Donalds’ sons will get lots of profits from it.

Kaine: No way, Clinton’s buddies are going to profit off of it more and I’m one of them!

Pence: Yeah, well no one has ever been as good at cheating the American people as us!

Kaine: OH YEAH! Watch us, we’re better at it by like a mega-fold force ten!

Pence: Whatever, we are! And you’re running an insult driven campaign. Let me show you by insulting you even more. Also, why didn’t I bring a TV to watch old football games on? It’s not like I planned on actually paying attention during this debate.

Kaine: You’re a turd sandwich!

Pence: … No sir, you are a turd sandwich!

(See South Park Episode 808 “Douche and Turd” for a more indepth Look At How Our Political Process Currently Works).

Overall, I am left with the same feeling I was after the presidential debates. Meaning that I am left with an overwhelming sense of desperation as all 4 candidates all seem to be complete idiots. Trump being the Queen of Idiots, Hillary the King, Kaine the Princess, and Pence the Prince. If we end up with any of these guys in power we pretty much better curl up and kiss our own collective asses goodbye. Please, please look into the 3rd party candidates. This truly is an anything is better than (insert major party candidates name here) situation.